The wedding shower is a very important part of the entire wedding planning session.  Wedding etiquette has some pretty strong advice for those that are having one as well.

There are several key elements to remember here.

-    You do not want to sound like you are having a shower to get gifts.

-    You do not want to throw your own shower as a method of getting funds either.

-    You do want to celebrate your engagement and upcoming life together.

So, how do we do it?

There are several ways to look at wedding shower etiquette.  Let’s break it down here.

Who’s throwing it?

The first important aspect of the wedding shower is who will actually throw it.  You should not throw your own shower, regardless.  This is impolite and seems to say that everyone should give you gifts.

It is also impolite in most cultures throughout the United States for your mother to throw your shower as well.  In fact, another close family member including your sister should not throw the shower for you. 

But, if your sister is your maid of honor, it is acceptable for her to do this.

Who should do it then?  Your maid of honor is responsible for hosting a wedding shower for you.  It may be a surprise or it may be a large, formal get together. 

As the bride, you really should not play a role in its planning other than offering opinions as suggested.  This is a way for those that love you to show you so.  In fact, it is often something they should plan from start to finish on their own.

More Etiquette to Consider

There are many more little things that factor into the wedding shower’s etiquette rules.  Consider each one of these if you are to have a proper shower!

-    Only people that are invited to your actually wedding or reception should be invited to the wedding shower.  For this reason, the maid of honor or who ever are hosting the shower may need to contact the mother of the bride for planning.

The only exception to this is when you are throwing an office wedding shower.  These are generally given to you by friends in the office; on their own.  The wedding party does not need to play a role in the wedding shower here.

-    It is acceptable for you to have several wedding showers.  If you have one for each side of the family, that is fine as long as you stick to the rules here.  But, it is much more commonly accepted that a family wedding shower will include both the bride and the groom’s family.  It is a time to get to know each other as well.

-    The mother of the bride as well as the maid of honor should try to attend all wedding showers.  They do not and should not bring a gift to all of them though.  It is acceptable if they do not make it to an office wedding shower.

-    Men can be invited to a wedding shower.  Generally, men that will be there include fathers of the bride and groom, the best man and the groom himself.  But, in some cultures, it is acceptable to have a larger shower that incorporates others as well.

-    Only invite a guest to one shower.  They should not be asked to come to more than one because they may feel obligated to bring two gifts.

-    Those that have been married before can have a second wedding shower.  There are no restrictions to this, but they may want to request no gifts if they already have most of what they need to start their new life.  Often, the host can request donations for a trip or simpler items instead.

-    Most wedding showers should be a surprise to the bride and the groom.  While this is not necessary all the time, most brides and grooms do expect to have a wedding shower thrown for them.

Education

 

A rehearsal dinner is an informal dinner that takes place after a wedding rehearsal, usually a few days before the wedding, although it is commonly held the night before of the wedding ceremony. Wedding etiquette does not demand that you have a rehearsal dinner, although advises take such opportunity to thank the attendants for all their help planning the wedding.

While some couples prefer both the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner take place two or three days before the wedding to relax on the wedding’s eve, the wedding day is such a busy day that it is more likely the bride and the groom will no eat until the reception, and not exactly immediately.

So eating with your loved ones the night before is more than advisable, necessary! Rehearsal dinners were traditionally paid by the groom’s parents, but this expense is becoming in a part of the wedding planning budget. In families who share strong bond one another, are the parents of both the groom and the bride who paid for the rehearsal dinner.

At the rehearsal dinner the couple will toast, thank the attendants and present small gratitude gifts to their groomsmen and bridesmaids. Sometimes the people invited to the rehearsal dinner have been helping the couple but have not socialized among them so taking this opportunity to play ice-breaking games will contribute with the success of your wedding day getting the friends of the groom and the bride meet in anticipation.

If you are a bride that is going to marry but you are unsure of having a rehearsal dinner planned, ask you future mother-in-law, as this responsibility belongs to her. I she is not considering to celebrate it, discuss with her and your own mother the idea of having one and let them decide if you can count with their help, otherwise go ahead yourself.

Attending a rehearsal dinner requires sending out invitations, but these can be simple formats that are sent a few days before the wedding invitation. With the Internet and many couples wanting to have out-of town guests, sometimes is better send rehearsal dinner invitations by email, unless you are following a more traditional format in every stage of your wedding planning.

Rehearsal dinner is a custom originated in the United States, country at which it is fully integrated into the matrimony traditions, although it is also commonly observed in Canada. Because of the informal nature of this dinner, you do not need to celebrate this event at a luxury venue or restaurant and the food in the menu does not need to be so elaborated.

Rehearsal dinners are commonly held at the groom or bride’s home unless the numbers of guests require taking the dinner outdoors or at a specific place with enough room for all. Some couples prefer to have a rehearsal dinner at an early our so everyone can enjoy with yard activities within the house and without formalities that the wedding etiquette will demand to all of them during the wedding day.

Education

 

It’s your wedding, do it your way and forget about the rest, right?  If you plan to make a few people unhappy and quite a few more wondering where your manners are, then that is the way to go.

Although we do not want to think or talk about it, wedding etiquette is essential.  At this very important time in your life, you want everyone to know who you are and what kind of life you are planning to live.  The way that you present yourself here is the way they will see you as a couple.

Even if you do not care much about what they do and think, it is still essential for you to find a way to make them feel welcome into your life. 

Not To Worry, It’s Not Hard!

The hardest part of wedding etiquette is learning about it.  That you will do here.  The easy part is doing it.  There are very few things that are too hard to accommodate.  Besides, a wedding is all about pomp and circumstance, so why not lay it all out there? 

Wedding etiquette may seem like a difficult process but once you learn a few facts about it and how to easily execute it, you will be well on your way to pleasing your guests, your parents and even find yourself enjoying it all!

Worries Relieved

Another benefit of following the right etiquette for your wedding is that you can avoid problems like these:

-    You forgot to invite someone to your wedding and now, they are upset with you! 

-    You do not know how to properly announce your wedding.  Should you put it in the newspaper or send an announcement in the mail?

-    Who should you invite to your wedding shower?

-    Is it okay to do a gift registry for your wedding?  If so, should you put expensive items on it?  Does it imply that you want gifts?

-    What should you do about guests that are out of town?  Is it up to you to provide for them?

-    Who’s going to pay for what?  Should your bridesmaids pay for their dresses?  Should you fork over the money for gifts?

-    Who should throw your bridal shower?

-    Is email an acceptable form of thank you notes for your gifts?

There are plenty of things that are big ‘ifs’ and since most of us only get married one time, it is rather difficult to actually determine what the right way to go is. 

That’s why you need to take some time now to determine what the right way to handle these and other circumstances for your wedding is.  When you handle them correctly, no one has hurt feelings, has to do too much and you don’t look bad. 

Wedding etiquette also shows respect and understanding for others.  By doing what you can to provide for these things, you show those that you are inviting how much you really do care for them.

Etiquette