There is not one thing gained from a male's perspective by entering into this institution. Am I wrong?

You get a partner to share the rest of your life with











... yep not one thing gained! :P

Why is a contractually binding document necessary to have compassion and love?

Maybe you're right.


It'd be good if a guy who is married could come in here and give his opinion.

I'm too bitter and twisted and honestly believe that all marriage will end in divorce due to people becoming bored with each other or just realising they hate each other.

I don't think its about the paper, more so perhaps the commitment which it represents. Anyway few members are even out of their teens let alone married so I can't see many genuine contributions to a thread of this nature.

What gets me is that there are hundreds of incentives for females ... just none for males.

Well a guy gets some sort of ring, and to share the wedding presents

Hundreds of incentives? As opposed to none for men, I doubt it. Weddings are perceived as an event more for the ladies and they are generally.

I think you are thinking about this the wrong way, incentive implies one is acting rationally, that is they are acting in self interest to benefit themselves. But "love" and "marriage" isn't typically as simple as being something where one obtains an obvious incentive, it is based on emotion and feelings and is therefore irrational and thus the perception that there is no incentive. …. or something <_< …

I know that guys tend to go bankrupt after the wedding. For example, one of my forum friends spent $42,000 on the wedding alone! And that was pretty much the guy paying for the majority of it because the other side of the family is poor. It would've been less but his wife-to-be turned into Bridezilla and demanded the most expensive wedding dress

My brother's been married for a few years now and the only incentive I can see is if you want screaming yelling kids, go for it. And that's pretty much it :P

To quote Duckman: "Sure she's smart, sensitive, cheerful, thought provoking and loaded with empathy and insight, but how long can that stay interesting?!"

Well the legally binding document can give protection if you divorce or if something happens to your partner.

But if you live with a partner for more than six months, you are determined to be in a de-facto relationship and you're entitled to half their assets anyway... or so I'm told...

Unless someone can set me straight.

Weddings are all about the bride in the Christian ritual, whilst the groom gets some attention with making toasts and stirring speeches that pronounces their love which gets family all teary eyed and moved.

"Oh he's so poetic!" they'll gush before remembering how beautiful the bride is, thereby relegating his speech to the dustbin next to uneaten pieces of crap-tasting cake.

But it's the best men and groomsmen who get to grope bridesmaids...

If a groom has a tonne of debt, when he gets married it then becomes "their" debt. Now, there's an incentive...

Men get a bucks party, which is a party that celebrates all great things that make them male. The groom might even get a free trip to melbourne on a train. he might not have any clothes though... save for a pair of handcuffs.

Okay.. so i'm a little cynical when it comes to weddings.

But to look at a wedding based upon how it affects and benefits the two individuals... it doesn't seem to fit with the spirit of something that is meant to symbolise unification

If you love someone you'll understand. And you need to be mature and have experience in life to understand this, love is not only about sex. Try not talking or thinking about sex when you're with her, if you still find it necessary to see her and you're still crazy about her then maybe its love.

De-facto relationships don't get the same rights as a married couple. And it's harder to enforce the rights that you do get too.

then i stand corrected. :)

Harder but not impossible. Men can cohabitate with a long term girlfriend, have sex, receive all the benefits of an otherwise formal marriage without the financial risk or liability involved with a divorce.

Forgive a girl for adding her two cents, but if you're in love with someone and you want her to have your name, then I think that is enough. But yes girls do have it better as far as marriages, I will not deny that.

I am not bashing the institute of marriage or encouraging anyone to absolutely disavow it; or saying that people who do get married are misinformed or generally idiots. All I am saying, is from a pure fact-based analysis, men have little to no incentive.

Oh. Okay then. Yes, I can understand that most men have no real incentive to get married.

My brother married his wife before his daughter was born, for that very reason. In his case, it didn't last: they separated (not divorced...yet) about six or seven months after, simply because they just functioned better as 'friends'.

Hmm, interesting topic. I personally look forward to marriage, but with the right person. That special bond that the two people share is something very important to me. And yes having my last name and making everything official makes its that much better i think.

Some people need to go borrow their nuts back from their girlfriends or wifes, and take an objective look at this issue. :P

Hmm... I think the biggest perk is that you don't have a woman nagging... COMMIT DAMMIT!
Past that from a womans perspective... Perhaps the thought of the matter, that you are professing your love and saying that you will have noone else but them for the rest of your life in a legally binding contract...? (and common law you still have to pay and get stuff signed.. you basically do it without the priest and ceremony though)

Or you could just say a tax break...

My guy wants to marry me just to ensure no other guy can have me... >.>;;; So I guess the incentive is to have what someone else can't have and wants....?

You do know what "Affair" means right?

It's unfortunate, but a wedding ring isn't a deterrent for many guys. It might give him peace of mind, though, which is reason for a guy to get married.

i've been burned by marriage, so i guess my attitude towards it is a little skewed.

Got a good cash windfall from the sale of my house though :D

Since when did people enter marriage to "gain" something?

Since Anna Nicole Smith.

Touche.

:lol:

Anyway... i've gotta say the nature of society in present day is not in the favour of men, as the general financial provider in a relationship to get married.

I know I know, I have ovaries, but I just wanted to say that I'm looking forward to marriage, but not for "gaining" anything. It's moreso the fact that, holy shit, this person wants to spend the rest of their life with me. I want to get old with someone. The idea of having a companion who you can always be with for all your life is so awesome to me. I don't care about having a pretty dress or a nice church. I could get married in a t-shirt and jeans and not care.

...then again I'm kind of a hopeless romantic. Oh well.

Still didn't stop me from being infa...

Ah nevermind.

I have to agree with Angra. I'm looking forward to marriage, and for the rewards that will bring; one person's devotion, children and whatever else that follows. Maybe it is romanticised, but I think it's a fantasy that even a guy has...or maybe I'm just a bit of a pansie.

As for me, I'd like to get married in a church. I'm all for tradition. :P

Decman pretty much embodies my opinion.
I just really like the idea of having someone always there, who I'm on the same level with, and whom I can unload all this damn undying love and devotion to, as it's becoming quite heavy on my back, I need to pass my undying love and devotion onto someone else <_<